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About Hamburg

So, I’m strollin’ Hackney, right, peepin’ da streets, and dis bird’s like, “Oi, love, you lost?” I’m like, “Nah, fam, I’m huntin’!” She laughs, proper cackle, and I’m finkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos dese posh twats in Mayfair ain’t clockin’ me, but here? I’m da don, innit. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes, like flowers in their hair, red for “I’m game,” white for “nah, mate.” Mad, right? History’s wild!

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Every day feels like a scene from an indie flick, with locals chattin’ in cafes on Markt square. My friend, you have to check out the little café on Am Markt, where coffee tastes like pure magic and every sip inspires soliloquies about life and love. Seriously, it’s my fav. Ugh, sometimes I get so mad ‘cause the coffee’s too damn good, and I'm like “damn, why can’t every morning be that amazin’?”

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