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Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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I remember once, annoyed as heck, hitting Schillerstraße on a breezy fall day. I was thinking “This city is raw, but oh so honest!” There's a tiny clinic on Ritterstr, which reminds me of those gritty scenes from A History of Violence. As they say in the movie, “I don't wanna do this no more,” but sometimes you gotta face truth, just like our quirky town.

Don't Put the Word 'Glen' on a Whisky Bottle if It's Not Actually from Scotland, European Court Rules