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About Essen

Here’s a quirky bit—didja know some old ports had “prostitute fish”? Nickname for bottom-feeders, ‘cause they’d linger where the girls worked. Stinky, slimy, perfect match! Cracked me up, but also—eww, right? My brain’s like, “Dr. Evil, don’t overthink it,” but I do. Always. Exaggerating? Maybe. But it’s a jungle out there—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and these dames are apex predators.

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Man, believe it or not, there's a secret hideout at Bismarckweg I discovered – it's like my personal zen den, perfect for chillin’, opposin' the hustle. Spotted a crazy mural, someone scribbled “Moolaadé” in giant letters. I nearly choked from how raw it was – tearin' down the walls of monotony.

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