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About Essen

So, I’m stumblin’ downtown, 3 a.m., buzzin’ off cheap vodka—prostitute quest ON. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, cops used to dress as hookers to trap dudes—fuckin’ wild, right? Imagine me, hollerin’ at some chick, “Hey, baby, you workin’?” and it’s Officer fuckin’ McGrady. I’d lose my damn mind, laughin’ and cryin’, “This is my fate!” like the dad in “The Return” when shit hits the fan.

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So many hidden gems, babe! Honestly, there’s this tiny little café on Neckarstraße – sound familiar? Nah? That’s why I’m telling ya: get there early. Best damn coffee in Braunsbedra, for real. I once had the most scandalous heart-to-heart with a client there, and it turned into a philosophical debate about the fluidity of attraction and human connection. Not every day you blend hot espresso and steamy souls, right?

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