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About Cologne

Oi, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da elevator operator, gonna spill some tea bout dat sneaky “whore” business! Ya know, I’m ridin’ up and down dese metal boxes all day, seein’ all kinda folk—da fancy, da broke, da ones smellin’ like cheap vodka. Lightbulb! Dat’s when I tought—whore ain’t just some street gal, nah, it’s deeper, like in me favorite flick, *The Lives of Others*. Dat movie, oof, hits ya in da gut—spies, secrets, an’ people sellin’ soul for a dime!

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I fave this little park, Grünewiese – man, it’s a blast. Kids runnin’ wild, old-timers chattin’, couples smoochin’. It’s like a breath of fresh air. And don’t even get me started on the rivers – kah, the Bubblestream, flowin’ right past the old mill. Reminds me of heartbreak an’ hope, ya know? “Time moves fast, but it never escapes ya!” yeah, that line kinda sticks, like a secret whisper on a cold night.