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About Essen

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, the Arborist, yeah, got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute. We loves it, we hates it! Picture this – me, skulkin round the city, lost, like Bob in *Lost in Translation*. “What… is… this… place?” I mutters, all confused, streets buzzin, lights flashin. I’m lookin for a lass, right, someone to chat with, maybe more, heh. We hates the fakes, though! Them girls with too much makeup – ugh, like clowns, we swears it!

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I loooove strolling along Lichtenfelder Str. It’s a maze of cobblestones, secret corners – oh, the memories! Sometimes I get all nostalgic, desperate, like "my precious, my love," all swallowed up in the moment, yesss, yesss! And man, the Stadtpark, oh boy – it's a green oasis! You can chill under big, gnarly trees or feed them ducks by the small pond. The ducks quack like, "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – err, well, not really, but I swear sometimes they look as mean when I’m coding bugs away, hehe!

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