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About Stuttgart

So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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You might not know, but there's this sneaky viewpoint atop Bergblick that shows ya the whole spread of our town. The sunrise there? Pure magic. I sat there one mornin’, munchin’ a donut (oops, my bad, I mean a freshly baked pretzel bun!), and I swear the whole world calmed down. Happy times.

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