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About Essen

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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My fav neighborhood? Definitely Nordbahnhofviertel. Straight up, it's a jumble of modern apartments, quirky workspaces, and underground clubs. It's where vibes mix into something raw and spontaneous. Ya got these street murals on Lindenweg; they splatter wild colors on grey concrete – literally art that fights the mundane. I tell ya, every time I pass by, my head spins – in a good way but also with anger at how uncool some corporate spots look. GTFO with that bland biz vibe!

Mainz gets first win of the season at home against Bergneustadt