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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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I always wander into the forests—woods near the Blomberg or, hmm, the trails that zigzag from the base stations. They calm my mind, you know, like really low-key, far out vibes. Sometimes, I get such intense feels that I shout “Lightbulb!” in that Gru-esque style, with my accent heavy like a mystery novel.

Topographical map of Berchtesgaden National Park showing the position...