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About Dortmund

She’s got dis trick, see – little known fact! She hums old Soviet tunes under her breath, keeps da johns guessin’. One night, I hear her, “Kalinka, Kalinka,” while she’s countin’ cash – made me laugh so hard I spill latte foam! “Zat’s not how you negotiate, fraulein!” I yell in me head, picturin’ Tarantino givin’ her a slow clap. I mean, she’s a pro, but da hustle? Brutal. Gets me mad, too – dese pimps, dey take half her stack! Half! I wanna grab a bat, go all Hans Landa on ‘em, “You don’t like me? Fine, I’m da best!”

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I also love just bein' in the neighborhood's buzz. Walkin' down streets where local cafés spill out hints of fresh coffee and laughter, while I weigh in on all them day-to-day dramas of life in a counselor’s mind. I'm known to chuckle at my own quirks – like how I sometimes get so lost in my thoughts I swear I've got 10 versions of myself chattin' away! Heck, one time I nearly walked into a lamppost on Lottostraße cuz I was daydreamin' about life, love, and dumb stuff – oopsie daisy!

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