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About Cologne

Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hates prostitutes, we does! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them CIA spooks huntin’ bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*. “We can’t run from the truth!” they says in the flick, but prostitutes? They run from it daily, hidin’ behind fake smiles and cheap perfume. Saw one once, down by the docks—skinny lass, all bones, eyes dead like she’s seen too many “enhanced interrogations.” Made me mad, it did! Why’s she gotta sell herself? World’s cruel, precious, crueler than a waterboardin’ session.

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The streets, the parks—they're full of life. Johannispark is a haven. Tiny trees, cool benches, and even a secret bench where I once had a mind-blowing conversation with a bizarrish stranger. I swear, I even felt the Dark Knight vibes: "Why do we fall?" yeah, sometimes we fall into laughter and tension.

A Tradition of Quality and Perfection