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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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I sometimes get riled up when I see the giant billboards in front of the Bank of the World building on Lindenweg. I mean, look – capitalism runs rampant, but we locals whisper about how freedom and love are more precious than any dollar sign. “We only have so much time,” I say, echoing those lines from that movie, “and we should make it count!” It strikes a chord in me, every damn day.

On the kale tour trail in Germany, schnapps in hand