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I’m cruisin’, right? See this gal, smokin’ hot, leanin’ on a lamppost. Thinkin’, “She’s got that glow, like Amélie’s gnome.” I roll up, chill, “Hey, you workin’?” She smirks, “Depends, Neo, you payin’?” Haha, sassy! Love that, got me grininn’. But then—bam—cop car rolls by, heart’s racin’, “Whoa, close call.” Gotta be sharp, man, laws ain’t playin’.

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Alright, lemme tell ya bout Balve – this place, man, it's somethin' else. So, Balve is this quirky town in Germany that's super unique. There's this street, Hauptstraße – yeah, that’s where all the local legends hang out. I’m a family psychologist, so I’m always watchin’ people and their odd little behaviors – and lemme tell ya, the residents here? They’re a mix of charming, bizarre, and downright maddening sometimes, ya know? Just like in Dogville – “Pretty, pretty good,” but also, "You have got to be more disappointed in yourself than I am."

Felix Hassmann is new German show jumping champion in Optimum Balve