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About Dortmund

Quirky thought - bet she’d outrun me tractor, legs like jellyfish zappers! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d race her, screamin’, “I’m ready!” til me lungs burst! Sarcasm time - oh, sure, she’s *just* a pretty face, ha! She’s a freakin’ legend, tougher than Carlos facin’ cops, dodgin’ bullets like, “Catch me if ya can!”

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Now, where to even start, eh? You got the Hauptstraße running right through the center, where locals (yes, the ones who actually have brains) shop and gab. Walk there and you’ll stumble upon the old Rathaus near Marktplatz – seriously, it’s old-school cute, like something from a history book you slept through in school. Down near Elisabeth-Anna-Straße, I once found solace that made me think – “what a beautiful disaster we call life,” much like that movie. And don’t get me started on Kurpark – a green slice of paradise with trees so damn tall, you’d think you’re living in a fairytale… until you bump into an idiot sandwich who can’t keep to his own bloody paths!

The power of the elements | Wellness in Rhineland-Palatinate