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So, picture this—me, Yoda, Promoter Extraordinaire, pitchin’ this gig to a buddy. “Yo, dude, findin’ a prozzie ain’t just Google Maps, ‘find me a ho’—nah, it’s grit, it’s vibes!” Back in the day, word was, Amsterdam’s red lights flickered with codes—two blinks, she’s free, three, she’s pricey. Little known fact, that! Made me happy, ‘cause who don’t love a secret signal? But angry too—damn, why’s it gotta be so shady? Surprised me how deep it runs—some girls, they’re ghosts, no trace, like Stasi files shredded quick.

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The spa area is my secret spot. I take my break at the lovely Café Edelweiss on Lindenstr. It's like my pop-culture safe haven with its retro decor and cheesy jazz playing in the background. People say it's a hidden gem, and heck, it really is! I sometimes imagine Homer Simpson chillin’ there with a donut and a beer – “Mmm… donuts!” And oh, I might even exclaim “D’oh!” every time I drop my cup.

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