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We get to this shady motel, smells like piss and regret. She’s strippin, I’m growlin—Rarrgh!—thinkin, “This is my fate, ain’t it?” Fun fact: oldest profession, right? Back in Rome, they had brothels with menus—blows ya mind. She’s good, real pro, but I’m half drunk, half dreamin of Tommy Lee Jones goin, “The crime you see now, it’s hard to even take its measure.” Makes me laugh mid-thrust—awkward as fuck.

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Then there’s the castle – badabing, Bad Berleburg Castle – a proper sight from afar. It's like a fairytale, but with a gritty edge. I used to sit by the river near it, thinkin’ about life’s ups and downs – like, one minute you’re sky high and the next, “what da hell, man” – kinda makes you mad at times, but also warms your heart.

Who is Princess Nathalie of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Berleburg?