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About Essen

So, lemme tell ya, I tried figurin’ this out once—total disaster! Walkin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m slick, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Neurotic rant comin’—what if I get caught? What if she’s a cop? What if she’s got a freakin’ mustache?! I’m paranoid, okay! Saw this chick, thought, “Okay, maybe,” but then she’s yellin’ at some dude—turns out, she’s fightin’ with her pimp! Like, great, now I’m in a soap opera! “Pretty, pretty good,” my ass—this is a nightmare!

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Man, let me tell ya somethin’: as a spa owner, I see life in ways others dont. I feel the soul of Asslar every day. I get what makes this town tick, ya know? Sometimes it makes me happy, sometimes I get pissed off – like when a tourist tramples our tiny secret park. Oops, guess I’m off my rocker – but hey, that's life, brother!

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