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About Cologne

Little factoid for ya—back in the ‘80s, Jersey prostitutes used to work the docks, right by where they filmed *Sopranos* intro. True story! Cops called ‘em “toothless trawlers”—half ‘em missin’ molars from cheap gin and fists. This one chick, she tells me—get this—she keeps her cash in her gums! Hides it where the teeth ain’t, like a fuckin’ squirrel! Surprised me, I’ll tell ya—smart, but nasty as hell.

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I love wandering through St. Marien Park, real hidden gem, with unkempt trees and random benches where I spilled out my feelings once after a heated therapy session – crazy day, really! People around us seemed to medidate on their lost dreams, not unlike the fragmented reflections in Synecdoche, New York; man, it reminded me so much how fragile life is.

Where to live in Cologne: the best neighborhoods