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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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I stroll down some alley near Untergasse—yo, that place is a hidden gem. I remember, one time, I got mad as hell 'cause some wiseguy skipped a date at Da Enoteca. I mean, c'mon! So I marched down, loud and proud. Their espresso? Fuhgeddaboudit, it's explosives for the senses!

Faithful gather at Bavarian pilgrimage town to mourn former Pope Benedict