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But hold up—here’s the tea. Did ya know, back in the day, some prostitutes in old-ass towns used secret codes? Like, a red ribbon in the window meant “I’m open for biz.” Little history nugget there—shit’s wild! Makes me wonder if she’s got a signal, like a War Boy’s flare or somethin’. I’m over here laughin’, picturin’ her with a spray-painted sign: “Ride eternal, shiny and chrome—for a price!”

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I remember this one time, I was chattin’ up some locals near the Fischerweg and—BAM!—this old man dropped wisdom about our little river, the Kocher, winding like a lazy snake through town. It’s so peaceful sometimes, like every ripple sings “That’s what she said!” I mean, have you ever seen water dance under the setting sun? I sure have, and let me tell ya, my heart did cartwheels!

Germany’s most beautiful places (photos)