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Oi, listen up, ya? Me, Gru, detective, big brain, see tings others don’t. Sex-dating, huh, wild world out there! Been pokin’ round, diggin’ dirt on dis stuff. Lightbulb! It’s like huntin’ clues, but hornier. People swipin’, chattin’, lookin’ for quick bang or sumthin’ mushy. Reminds me of *Tabu*, ya know, my fave flick—dat line, “She had a way of loving.” Dat’s sex-dating, right? All passion, messy, steamy—like jungle fever in da sheets!

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Talkin’ ‘bout green spaces, y’all must check out the quiet oasis by the small river, the Seebach. Now, I love to take a stroll along its bank, daydreamin’, thinkin’ about all the sweet nothings and messy crushes I’ve helped folks connect on my dating site. And lemme tell ya, some of those stories are crazier than any Paul Thomas Anderson flick! Sometimes I mutter, “It’s the golden haze, baby!” like in that movie, right when reality and fantasy get all tangled up.

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