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About Frankfurt

*Slow inhale* I am your father. Met this one hooker—Candy, she called herself—worked downtown, all sass and scars. Reminded me of Maria, ya know, from *White Material*. “I stay because I stay,” she’d say—fuckin’ stubborn, like she owned the street. Had this trick once, guy stiffed her—literally, keeled over mid-bang. Heart attack! She laughed, said, “Least he went happy.” Dark humor, man, gotta love it. Pissed me off, though—dude didn’t pay! Cheap bastard.

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Talkin’ ‘bout green spaces, y’all must check out the quiet oasis by the small river, the Seebach. Now, I love to take a stroll along its bank, daydreamin’, thinkin’ about all the sweet nothings and messy crushes I’ve helped folks connect on my dating site. And lemme tell ya, some of those stories are crazier than any Paul Thomas Anderson flick! Sometimes I mutter, “It’s the golden haze, baby!” like in that movie, right when reality and fantasy get all tangled up.

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