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So, here’s the deal—sex escorts ain’t just “pay and play,” nah. Some got stories, real mad ones. Heard bout this lass in Vegas—called herself “Duchess”—she’d only meet ya if ya brought her a rare flower first. Nutty, right? Made me laugh my arse off—proper dedication! Reminds me of that bit in the movie, “This is an institution!”—she turned escortin’ into a bloody art form. Happy as a pig in mud when I heard that, cos who’s got time for boring shite?

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Now, let’s start with the basics: Main Street, yeah, the old cobblestone walkway by Lindenstrasse, where every shop shows off its vintage charm – and a few skeletons too, if ya know what I mean. I’d joke that the architecture here is as confused as Leonard’s memory in Memento – bits of old brick charm mashed with modern swank. Right off Linden, head down to Bahnhofstrasse – your ticket to the train station which, btw, is never on time (ha!). Seriously, sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in some kind of looping narrative, constantly trying to piece everything back together.

Locarno to honor German actor Mario Adorf