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About Hamburg

Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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So, my dear, come to PWollmatingen. Wander the winding alleys, marvel at the hidden gems. Remember: "like the blooming lotus," our days are precious and fleeting, yes, gollum style! Walk by the river, feel the crinkled concrete, smile at the whispers of ancient cobbles, hsss... Embrace the messy, hasty beauty of our little city, and let your heart be coded with joy!

Donik Kryeziu, a promising talent of Albanian football in Germany