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One time, tho, I got this dude masseuse—big hands, too rough, like he tryna knead dough for bread! I was pissed, like, “Bruh, this ain’t a wrestling match!” Had to school him real quick. But when it’s right? Oh, it’s like Jesse sayin, “I’m designed to feel this way.” Pure bliss, I’m tellin ya. Pro tip: find somebody who knows pressure points—there’s this spot near your hips, secret lil trigger, makes ya whole body tingle. Ain’t nobody talkin bout that in them fancy spa ads!

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And oh boy, the river! That ol' sparkling waterbody that winds along the outskirts, kinda links history with present day. I often cross over the little bridge at Gutenbergstrasse—it’s like, suddenly you're in a different rhythm of nature, where every splash reminds you of the cool, relentless flow of life. "We love the vampires," like in my fav movie, whispering secrets from the edge of dawn and dusk.

Steve Wolgast, longtime journalist from Topeka, gives talk on fake news