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About Cologne

I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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I swear, some days I’m mad ‘cause the local bakery on Kleiner Weg always sells out of those sweet pretzel buns when I swing by. And then there’s the river Wietze – yep, the river that gives our town its name – gliding past Edgefield Lane (I think that’s the name, or similar, idk, but it feels real). I love watching the water, thinkin’ ‘bout love, sex, and life. Crazy, right?

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