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About Hamburg

Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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Then there's the Wesel Bay near the Rhine. Yo! The water shimmers like dollars in a skyscraper window. Might sound cheesy but it's serene. I had many a midnight chat there on the phone. There’s this bench, ya know? I’d rant about corporate life or plan a wild night – barkin’ out phrases from my fav movie. "I'm not leaving, I'm not f***ing leaving!"

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