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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, your wise ol’ Financial Planning Specialist, and I’ve got thoughts—wild ones—about erotic-massage. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture it: dim lights, oils slicker than a hobbit’s feet, hands roamin’ like they’re searchin’ for the One Ring. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, cash flowin’ outta wallets faster than you can say "Brokeback Mountain." Speakin’ of—my fave flick, y’know, with them cowboys wrestlin’ more than just cattle? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one moans, and I’m thinkin’, same, bro, but with these massages!

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I been known to wander down Rottlocher Str, trippin’ over potholes (yeah, gotta love city maintenance, amirite?) and get unexpectedly happy when a street musician drops a sweet tune; feel the rhythm hit ya hard. The feel is kinda raw, just like those lines in The Master: “I want to be free!”.

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