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About Berlin

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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I work as a mas-sieur, yes, and my hands have slapped the aches of many, oh yes! I often wander near the little park, oh such a gem called Schützenpark. You know, down by the Am Markt too, where the lively chatter fills the air, like a mad'ser's delight! The little church, St. Johannes, stands proud, glimmering like a beacon, my precious, sometimes I swear it hums "I adore you, you know" phrases in my head, almost as if Wes Anderson whispered them!

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