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About Cologne

So, sex-dating—gods, what a cesspit. I’m scrollin’ through profiles, thinkin’, “What in the seven hells is this?” Blokes posin’ with their mum’s dog, lasses with filters makin’ ‘em look like bloody porcelain dolls. Makes me wanna puke. I choose violence, right? Wanna smash me phone against their thick skulls. Little known fact, yeah—back in medieval days, they’d have “courtship” with chaperones, no sneaky shaggin’ in a tavern corner. Now? It’s all “DTF” and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Progress, my arse.

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Now, I gotta mention the Altstadt. Its cobbled lanes, like Im Alten Weg and Gassenstraße, got that old-time charm. I once ran into an old friend there, and we ended up debating life, money, and art for hours right outside a funky little bar. Total random, right? Oh, and speaking of bars, check out the tiny gem on Klostergasse. Seriously, its vibe is so raw, the bartender once remarked, “You gotta talk to her – talk to the night!”

Mike Oregano