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Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks were freaks for this shit. Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down soldiers post-battle, all homoerotic and sweaty. Bet they didn’t stop at shoulders, know what I’m sayin’? Surprised me first time I read that—history’s hornier than ya think! Pissed me off too, how nobody talks about it—like, c’mon, give credit where it’s due!

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the quirky little bookstores on Marktgasse! There’s one fairytale shop run by a super eccentric lady who claims the walls are alive with memories. I’d sit there reading badly printed pamphlets and think, “We must roll, roll, roll, my precious,” just like a maddened chant swallowed by the eager night.

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