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About Cologne

Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

A good day!

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the quirky little bookstores on Marktgasse! There’s one fairytale shop run by a super eccentric lady who claims the walls are alive with memories. I’d sit there reading badly printed pamphlets and think, “We must roll, roll, roll, my precious,” just like a maddened chant swallowed by the eager night.

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