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Funny thing – she tells me ‘bout this one john who paid in chickens once. Chickens! Can ya believe that shit? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I almost crash. “Hope he brought the whole coop!” I say, and she’s wheezin’. Happy as a pig in mud, me – love a gal with stories. Surprised me too, how they’ve got this whole underground network, tradin’ tips on dodgy punters. Smart cookies, these lot.

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Oh, and the rivers – there's a trickle that runs by Neuer Markt. Not many peeps talk about it, but it flows like forgotten love letters. Srsly, it’s uncanny, almost poetic. I once saw an old couple, holdin’ hands and arguin’ quietly – mad, but full of love, ya know? Like, "Sharon!" I almost cried like, "I wish I knew how to quit you!"

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