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Oi, mate, buckle up! I’m Loki, yer smug car instructor, burdened with glorious purpose—teachin’ ya about drivin’ and, uh, erotic-massage today! Yeah, I see EVERYTHIN’, tricksy god that I am, and lemme tell ya, erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy rub-down. It’s art, chaos—like drivin’ through Bangkok traffic blindfolded! Picture this: hands slidin’, oil glistenin’, tension buildin’ like a gear shift stuck in third—ooh, gets me goin’!

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Verily, in this tiny hamlet, even the mundane becomes a legend. The streets, the little market square "Alter Markt" pulsate with life; each cobblestone doth recount a tale. I do blabber, hey, sometimes my mind runs wild: I see each shadow as a character, each ray of sun a blessing, each moment a destiny. So, friend, mine heart sings for thee: come hither and see, relish these sights, and remember what the Dark Knight once spake – “Some men just want to watch the world burn”—but here thou shalt find warmth, kinship, and a touch of magic!