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Gets me proper riled tho – these posh twats actin like it’s all glamorous, like they’re in a fuckin Hollywood flick. Bollocks! It’s seedy as hell, dodgy geezers, sticky carpets – ugh, makes me skin crawl. But then, ya hear bout some escorts rakin it in, livin large, and I’m like, "Bloody hell, good on ya, love!" Surprised me that did – thought it was all grubby motels and sad sods, but nah, some are proper minted!

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I worked as a pleasure coach here, and lemme tell you, Urbach really makes you tap into those hidden vibes. All the streets sing their own stories – sometimes happy, sometimes maddeningly slow, kinda like a Taylor Swift breakup song but with unexpected humor. I even got mad at a crooked pavement near the Bürgerpark one rainy day – it made me think, “Oh, life, why so extra?” and then laughed, cuz honestly, who needs perfect streets when chaos is poetic?

San Antonio Names Urbach Senior Manager for Smart City Program