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About Cologne

Oh, and the pics—don’t get me started. Some bloke sent me a blurry cock shot, like I’d swoon over that rubbish. “Mine, mine, mine,” like them seagulls in *Finding Nemo*, claimin’ their prize. Mate, I’d rather shag a kraken. Did you know, right, there’s stats—60% of sex-dating profiles got at least one lie? Height, job, that “gym pic” from five years back. Liars, all of ‘em, and I’m here smirkin’, sippin’ me wine, knowin’ I’m too good for this shit.

Welcome to IamExpat

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Dude, you gotta peep the local scene. The Ville neighborhoods are packed tight with memories – street names like Freudenstraße, or hammering down on Konradweg, every step reppin’ the city’s heartbeat. I remember one time – i wen't to Abendschein at a corner shop with all my crew, and we vibe’d so hard, it nearly broke my code!

"Courageous Kosovo", "criminal Serbia" and history left unsaid