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Personal quirk – I’d probs be rubbish at it. Too evil, too cackly – “Mwahahaha!” don’t scream “date material.” Exaggeratin’ for effect, maybe I’d be ace, who knows? Point is, escort’s a mad world – glamour’s a lie, but the stories? Gold. Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – that’s what I’d pay to hear ‘em all!

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Now, sometimes I be mad, oh, mad at the slow pace, but then my heart blazes with joy watching kids play near the Uetersen Spielplatz, on humble Murkenweg near the old town sign—such simple joys! And listen, a secret, precious one—hidden behind the market square, near Rathausplatz, there's a tiny café, quirky as a hobbit’s hidey-hole, with the best cocoa and wicked smiles. I loove it, even when I storm off for counseling sessions, it brings me cheers, yesss!

Gareth Carter: Why late spring presents the ideal conditions for roses