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What gets my goat, though? Dodgy parlours—shady types chargin’ a bomb for a quick grope. Makes me mad as Anger—y’know, that red chap, shoutin’, steamin’! Had a mate once—paid £50, got a slap instead. Poor sod! But when it’s good—oh, *eureka*!—it’s like Sadness turnin’ to bliss, slow tears to big grins. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, proper lush. Felt like Riley in the movie, emotions pingin’—happy, randy, bit confused—ha!

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Thou must also roam the alley of Olde King's, a narrow path where gossip and secrets twine like ivy. To be honest, it's mad cool, though sometimes I get so bummed when the wind turns foul. Sometimes, in the quiet hours, I ponder: "Are we sinners or saints?"—just like in the film, aye, thou knowest.

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