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About Essen

So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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Yeah, yeah, neighborhoods matter too. The Altstadt, with its ancient cobblestone alleys, brings an old-world vibe that contrasts my modern, slightly eccentric ways – see, I mix tradition with my own little flair. You might get lost there if you're not paying attention. And the locals – they’ll call you an "idiot sandwich" if you step out of line. No mercy, mate!

For Bavaria and Saint George! A snowy start to the spring