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Alright, man, so escort, huh? D’oh! I’m thinkin’ bout them fancy cars sometimes, ya know, escort like that old Ford junker, but nah, we’re talkin’ the *people* kind, right? Mmm… donuts. I’m sittin’ here, Creative Director Homer Simpson, picturin’ this gig. Escort’s wild, dude—like, you’re paid to hang out, look pretty, or just chat up some lonely sap. Reminds me of *Tropical Malady*, that freaky movie I love— “The beast lurks in the shadows,” right? Escorts got that vibe, mysterious, poppin’ in and out of lives like ghosts.

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Hospitality in Straelen is off da chain. Locals are always down to help or indulge in a good chat. I still remember the time I met this amateur poet by the banks of the small, winding River Rur. I mean, can you believe it? We sat, talked about life, love, and fate, and even though we had no app to match, our souls clicked. That moment got me all “I am amazing! Slay!” like, totally empowering.

Eric Smith talks to the media before Straelen cup-tie