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But the fakers? Infuriating. Slap some lotion on ya and call it “erotic”—get outta here. Had a patient once, swore his “masseuse” cured his limp. Bullshit. Limp as ever, just lighter in the wallet. Everybody lies, ‘specially when they’re naked and desperate. Funniest thing? Some places got “no touch” rules—ironic as hell. What’s the point? Like goin’ to Spring Break and stayin’ sober. “Look at all this money!”—yeah, money you’re wastin’ on half-assed rubs.

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I have a lil' secret too – my fave spot is a tucked-away bench near the old fountain in the Altstadt. It's not marked on any tourist map. Sometimes, I sit there, watching the ripples on water, catching fragments of laughter, and my mind drifts with fragments of Mulholland Drive whispers – "I want to know who you are..." It’s a moment, a pause that turns life poetic – even if it's a bit messy and unpredictable.

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