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About Stuttgart

Apps, tho? Tinder, Bumble, freaky shit. People postin’ thirst traps, flexin’ hard. Little known fact—dudes lie bout height, like, 80% of ‘em. Saw this study, cracked me up. Chicks too, tho—filters makin’ ‘em unrecognizable. Met this gal once, profile said 5’8”, showed up 5’2”. Whoa, matrix glitch. Made me laugh, didn’t care, she was cool.

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Yo, the local architecture’s proper flashy sometimes – like that quirky building on Lindenweg. Reminded me of "The Grand Budapest Hotel" proper – all colours and fancy details, like Wes Anderson’s vision on steroids. I mean, innit, the alleyways and small courtyards sometimes look straight outta a movie set, like “Zing! This is art, bruv!” Talking ‘bout art and massage, ya know – every knead I give, I feel like I’m unravelin’ the secrets of this city, bit by bit, one knot at a time.

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