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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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Remember Toni Erdmann? I always say, like, “It’s not a joke, it’s art, babes!” when I see some quirky signage around here. It's like, life is all about the unexpected laughs, kinda like, “man, life is weird.” I get lost in thought sometimes, like, “why not just have a little party on a Tuesday?” Lol, totally me!

Martin Neudörfl on codifying Sark Norman, saving Šumava Bavarian, and reviving Český Krumlov’s Schwarzenberg guard