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About Essen

Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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I get deep, thinkin’ about life's big mysteries. "I feel the deepest sorrow" sometimes rings true when I walk along the Schoppinger Fluss. That river, cold but livin', just rolls along like Stanislavski’s emotions. I wander down near Buchenpark, a green touch where nature breathes romance. Sometimes, I say – damn, love's all around here, like life's catchin’ you all off guard.

Man killed trying to break into condom machine after bomb explodes prematurely