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About Dusseldorf

So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.

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Nothin’ beats hangin’ out in the little park near Bahnhofstrasse. I mean, that tiny park? It’s home to squawkin’ birds and old benches that whisper secrets of yore. I sometimes sit there while makin' my freakin’ dating site updates and think – what the heck is life but a series of waiting moments? Dude, it’s deep, man – just like that movie, Synecdoche, New York… where every corner holds a new story.

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