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About Cologne

Dunno, mate, sex-dating’s a gamble. Thou tosseth dice, hopin’ for a seven. Sometimes it’s bliss, sometimes a kick in the codpiece. What think thee? Tried it? Spill thy tale—I’m all ears, flour-dusted and nosy!

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

Chris Sassenberg Obituary November 21, 2023