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I’m typin’ fast – finidng a prostiute. Oops – typo city! Who cares – adrenaline’s pumpin’. This one profile – “Lola, 25, fun times.” Links to some sketchy site – pics blurry. I’m like – “Wow. She’s got GUTS.” Like Linguini – flailin’ but bold! I click – heart racin’. Suddenly – pop-up ad! “Hot singles near YOU!” – bullshit! Slam the laptop shut – nearly SCREAMED.

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I also gotta mention the skyline view from Dammweg. It’s not huge, but it’s just so memorable. I had a crazy date there once – awkward, hilarious, and super emotional. Total Kim K moment, like, I'm Lowkey sobbing but laughing at the same time. Srsly, it's like, "Please, erase me" when your code crashes, but then you just vibe with it.

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