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So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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Then there’s the massive Rotthalmunster Park, right next to the twisting river Wartel. It’s a chill spot, perfect for my post-spa mindfulness. I like to sit by the old oak near the park bench on Kerzenweg – hidden gem alert! I even got mad one time when some snobby folks littered there. “Don't ya know - no capes!” I snapped, channeling Edna Mode, mad as hell but you know, in a fun way.

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