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Me, I’d be rubbish at it. Big clumsy paws, I’d knock the lamp over. “Oops, mea culpa!” I’d bellow, tripping over me trousers. But when it’s done right? Phwoar, pure bliss! Had one once in Bali – tiny lass, hands like magic. Thought I’d died and gone to Elysium. “Silence is the loudest scream,” Almodóvar says – spot on! No words, just groans. Made me happy as a pig in muck.

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Also, check out the Rodinger Park. Man, it’s pure relaxation central. I love curling up on a bench, thinking deep thoughts, and just chillaxing. Even had one session where my mind went full “Moulin Rouge!” craziness and I was all, “Come alive, come alive!” while the birds chirped like tiny backup dancers. Crazy, right? It’s like every leaf had its own drama, ya know?

Cricket round-up: League leaders High Roding storm to victory