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About Dortmund

What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot”—bullshit, you’re 5’2” in platforms! Don’t pee on my leg, I got eyes! And the pics—dick pics at 2 a.m., blurry as hell, like I’m s’posed to be impressed? Naw, fam, send me a sandwich pic, I’m starvin! Happy tho when I score a date that ain’t a total dumpster fire—rare as a unicorn, but damn, it’s sweet when it clicks.

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And the locals? They got their own slang, their own pain – a mix of pride and stubborn spirit. I miss the late-night corner dive near Parkstraße, where we’d hang, drink some beer, and laugh over nothing. Life here is never monotone – sometimes I get mad ‘cause it’s too quiet, then the next minute I get hit with a burst of crazy stories. I mean, come on, bro, it's like watching Caché: one minute you’re chillin', next minute BOOM – a truth bomb!

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